Despair

Is this what frustration feels like? Nothing seems shiny anymore. It’s like; my soul has ripped in two. One part craves kindness, and the other dreads it. Anything sweet, shiny is like antimatter to me, it annihilates as soon as it comes in contact with me. These days I spend locked in a cocoon. Even a tiny, slender ray of sunlight completely burns me up. It’s contradictory, yes it is, it makes no sense, but it is what it is. A hope-deprived part of me cries out in pain. I soothing look at it and shake my head at it wails. It’s gone. My hope. Why do we try to cling on to the frayed strings of nothingness? We slip down; the thin threads of our sanity mock us but we do nothing. Survival in this realm, where happiness is equivalent to insanity, where hope is like elixir, where melancholy madness is just a way of living, is difficult. Hell, it’s impossible. I could just give in to my demons. It’s okay to give in, I remind myself. They constantly gnaw at the remainder of my humanity. They wait for me to go down on my knees. They slowly wait, they patiently wait. Is this it? Is my battle with my inner consciousness over? Is my war with the demons in me over? Have they won? My worst nightmares shout out, stare me right in my eyes. Dawn, don’t be too late. It seems as if this night is eating me alive (…)

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One Comment Add yours

  1. Wow. Good Job. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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