Hopelessness

The walls were closing around onto me too fast, too soon. The cliffs on either side haunted me, looming over like a great cloud of depression, showing me what I missed.
A great wave of insecurity washed me over. I was drowning and I could see no lifeguards, no mermaids even. Was this it? The end? This way? Oh no. I could not let this be my apocalypse! 25 years of traveling, making plans, surviving the Amazon Jungle to die like this? No way. My legacy needed to exceed this line. The bridge was shattered in pieces, reflecting my mind. The string which held it together was tattered, like my sanity. How could I cross this giant void? At this moment, the metaphorical resonances of this vicinity were millions. A void, like my heart. It seemed deep from this distance. But ho knew what the ground held for me? I suppose this wasn’t a good time for all of that, but the thoughts of my heart being a void completely engulfed me.
Starting with the cliffs. How could I overcome my fear of being crushed? Not between these large stones but rather of my insecurity? Acquaintances always asked me why I wouldn’t start my own company. I had it all: Land, Labour, Capital, and Enterprise! Why couldn’t I employ my resources for a good cause. I know now the answer to this question. Because I am afraid. Afraid of being crushed between the other large firms who are already successful. Lord knows how cowardly I was.
And the void? What about it? I am a kind man, they said, I am a good human. What seemed like a deep heart full of love and empathy was actually an organ devoid of anything. It pumped blood. Period. It didn’t care for others, it didn’t respect the human race, oh no! I had a heart as vain and black as Satan himself. Peer into my heart and you shall see my demons. But stay away from the edges. If you fall deep in me, there is no coming back (…)

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